Askem Nicely Virtual Library
DNA and Gene Cloning It is advisable to wear safety goggles whilst in the lab.
Look at these specimens. Are they human? Think carefully now.
| ALMA BALDWIN off "Coronation Street" |
 "Young guns, havin' some fun" |
DNA match |  "Oh shut up, Audrey" |
ANDREW RIDGELEY of 80's popsters Wham! fame |
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| MEL C of pop Spice Girls fame |
 "Fuck off, Bobby" |
DNA match |  "I'll never be the same again" |
MIKE NOLAN of 80's popsters Bucks Fizz fame |
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| SALLY WEBSTER off "Coronation Street" |
 "I'll give you the money meself" |
DNA match |  "Rohsie! Sohfie! Tea's ready!" |
LES DENNIS of "Family Fortunes" infamy |
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| TOYAH BATTERSBY off "Coronation Street" |
 "Resistance is futile" |
DNA match |  "Pass us the rolls, Roy" |
SEVEN of NINE off "Star Trek: Voyager" |
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| Pop star NATALIE IMBRUGLIA |
 "I can't do this one but I'll keep trying" |
DNA match |  "I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor" |
"Countdown" maths brain CAROL VORDERMAN |
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| Actor and comedian SANDRA BERNHARD |
 "Yes, it is art." |
DNA match |  "Madonna's a bitch!" |
"Artist" TRACEY EMIN |
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| TOMMY ROSS from Stephen King's "Carrie" |
 "Dancin' with the captain" |
DNA match |  "I am not taking Carrie White to the prom!" |
'70s pop star and "Just Good Friends" actor PAUL NICHOLAS | |
| Pop Idol WILL YOUNG |
 "And that's all from the six o'clock news" |
DNA match |  "I think I'd better leave right now" |
BBC Newsreader SOPHIE RAWORTH |
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| Tiresome loudmouth "Big Brother 5" "activist" KITTEN PINDER |
 "I want to sleep with common people" |
DNA match |  "Well, basically, like, it's just like, right, like, at the end of the day, like, right?" |
Pulp's JARVIS COCKER | |
| The Cure's ROBERT SMITH |  "It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it" |
DNA match |  "Why can't I be you?" |
ex-Specials / Fun Boy Three vocalist TERRY HALL |
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| One half of TV twosome Ant and Dec, Geordie DECLAN DONNELLY |  "Aye, Terry" |
DNA match |  "Let's get ready to rumble" |
Geordie RODNEY BEWES off "The Likely Lads" | |
| HARRY POTTER |  "Where's Scooby?" |
DNA match |  "Voldemort, my arse" |
Scooby Doo's buddy VELMA | |
| pop-punk BILLY IDOL |
 "They'll never take me alive" |
DNA match |  "It's a nice day to start again" |
ex-Theatre of Hate / Spear of Destiny frontman KIRK BRANDON | |
| TV presenter LOWRI TURNER |
"And after the break: Marvellous Make-Overs" |
DNA match | 
"And after the break: More DIY Make-Overs" |
TV presenter FERN BRITTON |
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| Eastenders star JILL HALFPENNY |
"I'm gonna take you to a gay bar" |
DNA match | 
"I'm gonna take you to the Nail Bar" |
Comedian RHONA CAMERON |
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| Strictly Come Dancing twinkletoes ANTON DU BEKE |
"I don't feel like I lost a wife, more like I gained a friend" |
DNA match | 
"Bonjour darlings" |
Comic actor ROB BRYDON |
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| CARLOS off Holby City |  "Annie, I'm not your Daddy" |
DNA match |  "C'mon Trish, let's try again" |
80's Coconut KID CREOLE |
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| ROGER O'DONNELL ex-keyboardist for The Cure |
 "Look, they need machines to fly!" |
DNA match |  "Goodbye, Robert" |
URSA off Superman II |
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| Comedian STEVE COOGAN |  "Ken didn't get his paper, Rita" |
DNA match |  "Knowing me, knowing you, a-ha!" |
NORRIS COLE |
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| CAIN DINGLE off Emmerdale (Farm) |
 "Oh yes! We're all ladies and gentlemen around here!" |
DNA match |  "You're not goin' anywur Debbie!" |
ARTFUL DODGER |
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| DJ and presenter JO WHILEY |
 "I am your leader!" |
DNA match |  "Hot club Paris meets Manchester’s best white bop with a taste of the funk reinvented treasures of pop" |
ZELDA |
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| Killing Joke frontman JAZ COLEMAN |
 "That's the way to do it!" |
DNA match |  "A love like blood, a love like blood" |
Judy's husband (no, not Richard) MR PUNCH |
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| Il Divo crooner CARLOS |
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DNA match |  "O sole mio..." |
Sesame Street's GUY SMILEY |
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80s Presenter |
 "This is the new one by Toto Coelo..." |
DNA match |  "Can you hear me, Noel?..." |
80s DJ Kid Jensen |
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| Lloyd Cole |  "What's the most talked about topic this week?" |
DNA match |  "It took a lost weekend in a hotel in Amsterdam" |
Jimmy Carr | |
Look at these specimens, look at them closely. Quick, get a stick!
Human / Amphibian Hybrids |
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MARTIN PLATT off Coronation Street |
 "Yes, Miss Piggy?" |
DNA match |
 "Oh alright, Gail!" |
KERMIT the FROG |
Human / Bird Hybrids |
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80s Darts Champion |
 "Cheep Cheep" |
DNA match |
 "Game on" |
SIMON the BUDGIE |
Human / Rodent Hybrids |
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GAIL TILSLEY off Coronation Street |
 "Squeak Squeak" |
DNA match |
 "Where's little Bethany?" |
HAMMY the HAMSTER |
Human / Protozoa Hybrids |
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WESTLIFE  "Glug" |
DNA match |
POND LIFE  "Flying without wings" |
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